The journey to self-actualisation

I grew up in the hands of my maternal grandmother when my parents had a misunderstanding and so i lacked parental care and attention. Life became so lonely and I became a wanderer trying to seek for answers to the misery that befell me.My hands were bitten along the line but I cared less. I wanted survival and that’s all that mattered to me. I sometimes go on a visit to my dad’s but he would not give me any attention. Most times,I left his place in sorrow and regret. “Why would life brew its bitter galls on me” I would lament.No answers came and I summon courage to face life squarely. My father was famous but he could not accomplish anything in my life with it. Most of the people he knew who could assist us are now late. I then begin to ask myself,”why would daddy watch me suffer. Shouldn’t he be able to sacrifice anything in the world to make life comfortable for me.How heartless can he be.” I would mutter those words anytime i was alone.I am sure God was watching every event play out in my life. He had a plan afterwards. I must face the pain to get the power I needed for the future ahead. My mum took me to almost all her friends but none helped. Some said,”why didn’t you take her back to her father,after all he is not dead.” She tried all her effort to put my life back on track but was too helpless. After few years,my mother summon courage to take me along with her in search of a more rewarding life.But that earmarked the troubles ahead.I became so sick and my mum became confused. She thought of where else to go and that was how we moved back to my father’s house.

Fast forward,another issue came up and both of them had to be separated. My mum began again in search for help. We moved from one friend’s house to the other begging for a cover. I was thrown back to the street and looked for succour. We got an accommodation and that was a relief but we could barely feed on three square meals. Fate happened and I got a job with meagre earnings but at least i could take care of myself and assist my mum. After a while,we couldn’t meet up with accommodation fee and we were ejected. Somehow,help came and we moved in to a new place.But it was so uncomfortable for me that I cried almost everyday. Mum had kept back part of the money for business and took a poor accommodation for us. I became an angry and frustrated girl. “What have I done to life that its paying me back this way? My parents were far from my emotions.They threw me out to the street without any regard for my destiny.

I was becoming tired of the situation. I met the man of my dreams along the way. He tried His best to be a Real Man and I appreciate and adore him for that. But I yearned for more-My True Identity. My husband cannot replace the fulfilment of the destiny I longed for.

From then on ,The search for my true identity began. One day it occured to me,”Maybe my life isn’t fashioned to be at the mercy of others rather than to be a giver and a lender to nations. Maybe I needed to go through this pain inorder for me to regain my lost heritage. So I made up my mind I was going to stop looking up to anyone again. I have been disappointed enough.It’s time to find out who I really am and that effort took me 2 years to unravel.The reason is that, I had been living life blaming the people in my life for my circumstances.Until I stopped the habit and promised myself to look up to God for all I needed, then I begin to have inner peace and all the hurtful experiences were now making sense to me. I did not have to hold anyone accountable for the misgivings of yesterday. I only have to take on life from where I had dropped it and look up to the one who has a promise over my life,God.

May be my life isn’t fashioned to be at the Mercy of others rather than to be a giver and lender to nations

Today,I have found that purpose. Everything is now making real sense and am beginning to love and appreciate everyone for the roles they played in my life which were mostly painful. They were actors in the script of my life. I do not have to lament anymore because I have come to the full understanding of my identity…I am extraordinary. Please do not envy me when my rewards begin to come in. I have paid the price of perseverance. Now its time for my Manifestation. Celebrate with me.


  1. So deep post… I am happy now you got the purpose…. Have a beautiful life Journey ahead… 🙂

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