Have you ever noticed how we tend to hone in on the negative aspect of our lives instead of the positive? Thats a big reason why we don’t experience more of the nurturing emotions that hapiness provides. We focus on the day-to-day irritations and inconveniences allowing these to color our whole outlook. Over a period of time this becomes a habit- We do it unconsciously.The News media doesn’t help, They provide an overwhelming diet of negative events from wars,murders,rapes,and tragedies to family violence,kidnappings and all manner of disasters. Do you realize that 90% of all news is negative? Depressing!
Many people see life as one big burden. They obsess on everything that doesn’t work instead of focusing on what is good and on the possibilities to make it even better. Worry,guilt,resentment fuel this negative cycle. No wonder we find it so difficult to have more joy,happiness,and contentment.
A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. – Hugh Downs.
I know how this feels. When i was growing up, life appeared to be a constant battle. I felt that I always had to have my dukes up ready for the next fight. Optimism was not part of my thought process. I believed in Murphy’s law – something was bound to go wrong, andit usually did. I looked with scepticism at people who were positive thinkers. When things went their way,I just thought they were lucky. Then slowly with positive influence of my siblings, I started to realize that there was another way to live. when i was faced with challenges, it was healthier to be optimistic and focus on soluions. In my old way of thinking, I would crumble into automatic pessimism,blaming everyone and complaining about my circumstances. Gradually,I made a conscious choice to be happier and to have more positive outlook. This wasn’t easy jfor me,it took a lot of mental discipline and awareness to change my perspective.
One reason we struggle to find hapiness is due to our limiting beliefs. Does a part of you belief things are too good to be true? Do you ever say things like this:
- I just knew it wouldn’t last
- I always get the short end of the stick
- I don’t deserve to be happy.
The combination of a negative outlook and limiting beliefs may likely compound your inability to be happy . You are in way sabotaging yourself. Pause for a moment and think about this question. Do you tend to focus on the negative asopects of life? Do you desrve to be happy?
Develop your optimism muscle. Optimist look at the world and see the same things pessimists see,yet their response is quite different. The optimist admires the beautiful moutain scenery through her kitchen window,while the pessimist see dirty fingerprints on the glass. The optimist looks at the possibilities in a project,while the pessimist announces all the way it is doomed to fail.
To become happier, you may need to root out self-defeating patterns. This requires more than positive thinking. Well-worn phrases such as “All will be well, “Don’t worry be happy” are not enough. It takes commitment and a new attitude and it begins from now.