I used to think forgiveness meant erasing the past wrongs and superimposing happier memories. It was difficult for me to forgive because I felt I was losing face and being diminished- That my wrong doers still had the upper hand.
Forgiveness is an act of the will and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart – Corrie Ten Boom
By withholding forgiveness, I believed they would suffer more. Then I realised I was the one who was suffering. When I finally understood the power of forgiveness,I discovered that I would have a lot more freedom and feel happier if I released my past burdens,including my own mistakes.
To forgive the unforgivable is the highest form of love. In return you will be blessed with peace and compassion -Fran Hewitt
Have you ever noticed that the word forgiveness is grounded by the word give?By forgiving,we give ourselves a gift. We choose to let go of the past,in the hope that by doing so,we will make a better life in the future.
What forgiveness is not Condemnation;Blaming,adopting a one-upmanship position or feeling morally superior has nothing to do with forgiveness. These attitudes are about you being right. They will keep you stuck.
Forgiveness is not compensation; Forgiveness does not seek an apology. You are not asking for validation for your pain,or any other form of compensation. It is unconditional and personal. You may wait a lifetime for compensation and never receive it.
Forgiveness is not Excusing;Forgiveness isn’t letting someone off the hook. You are still holding him or her responsible for the wrongdoing and rightly so.
Forgiveness is not Denial or forgetting .
In some situations,time never fully heals memories.Forgiveness is not about ignoring pain or the wrong that was done to you. Your reality cannot be denied.
You will remain a victim unless you avoid these four misconceptions . They keep you powerless. Don’t allow the pain of the past to become a permanent crutch in your life.
To remind yourself,memorize this statement: I am forgiving you because I have paid enough. Now I am ready to move on.
There’s no peace without forgiveness -Marianne Williamson