Handling disappointments

Sheryl sobbed profusely when she was hugely disappointed by her boyfriend Murphy who promised to lighten up her birthday. It was too much to bear. She had gone to the grocery store a day to his visit for endless shopping. She really looked forward to a memorable time with him. The table had been set few minutes before Murphy’s arrival. You can tell on Sheryl’s face that she was expectant. A knock on the door and she would run towards it only to be disappointed.

An hour later,she called to ask of his whereabout and what she got shook her entire being. Murphy cuts the line on her and did not bother to return back the call afterwards. What a crushing disappointment. She was bitter.

Staring at the wall clock,it was apparent that her boyfriend would not be making it anymore so she gave up.

If we will be quiet and ready enough,we shall find compensation in every disappointment-Henry David Thoreau

What do you do when your loved one disappoints you especially when you have commited and sacrificed a lot on your part to make things work? Do you throw pity-parties around,decide on a vindictive campaign,or perhaps accept the reality before you and move on?

If you have ever been disappointed before,you would agree with me that it is not a wonderful feeling. But be that as it may,choosing to look beyond the pain or hurt and forgiving anyway is the best gift you can give to yourself during that period.

If something doesn’t work out the way you anticipated,does that mean you haven’t done enough? No! It means there are better things ahead than crying over spilled milk and putting on the victim mask around.

The reality is,if you have not learnt to accept the truth that people fail and disapoint,you will continue to get your hands burnt and remain miserable for as long as you keep the pain in your heart.

If i am to meet with disappointment, the sooner i know it,the more of life i shall have to wear it out- Thomas Jefferson

There are ways you can handle the pain of disappointment:

  • First,instead of picking the phone and throwing tantrums all over,you can decide to turn it off till your anger subsides. Often times,the disappointment may not be intentional. It may be a traffic delay,or an emergency.Take time to ask the other person and accept their explanation no matter how it seems.
  • Look for any activity that can take your mind away from the situation.You can read a book,take a walk in the compound,rearrange the closet or watch the tv.
  • Try to get rid of any negative thoughts(This is expected and only natural) that may fly in. Smile and ponder on any event that lighted your spirit.
  • Do not lament about the situation. Take charge of your emotions and act as though nothing happened.
  • Even if you need to pick the call of that person who disappointed you later on, lighten up and respond intelligently. Wear your smiles on and it will reflect in your tone. When they apologize,accept it in good faith and see it as another life’s lesson.Learn and become a better person through it. Let the other person see how positive and matured you are. By this,they will know you still care and love them no matter what they did to you.Remember,your energy introduces you before you begin to speak.

When disappointments come(as they often do), be clear on this;it’s time to look ahead.

Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to a burning metal.it strengthens,tempers,intensifies,but never destroys it- Eliza Tabor

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