Why do we Fear?

Fear usually appears when you are about to take a risk. The level of fear is proportional to the size of the risk. If you are making small changes,you may not feel too fearful. However,if you are planning major life changes,your fear is likely to be much greater.

Men go to far greater heights to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire- Dan Brown

Christy was ready for change. At twenty-nine,she was lonely and painfully stuck in her shyness. She was chastised regularly at an early age. “If you can’t say anything intelligent, don’t say anything at all,” was the message she grew up with. She was also taunted at school for her speech impediment. “The other kids were so cruel they would imitate my lips and call me Clispy.”she lamented .

Now Christy was ready to stand up and speak out. She set a goal to speak to someone new everyday. This may not seem like a huge risk,but for Christy it meant facing her biggest fear. She practiced by chatting to the teller at the bank and the clerk at the grocery store. She would sit on a park bench and talk to people passing by. She discovered that a smile gave her control over anxiety,and she usually got one in return. Dilligently,she kept to her plan and within few weeks,she felt like a different person. “I feel so brave. If I can do this,I can do anything. I still fight the anxiety but it no longer overwhelms me.”

Each of us must conquer our own fears,must come face to face with them.How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives.To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it- Judy Blume

I used to think I was the only person who felt fear. For me it was fear of rejection. I would watch other people excelling in their lives,going back to school,building a career,competing for a job position,and think “If only I wasn’t so fearful i could just be like them.” Then after attending a seminar one day,I approached a wonderful speaker and asked if she ever felt fear. She blew me away with her reply: “All the time.”

All the time?And she still did it? Then I repeat the same question to all those other “fearless” women who were doing so well. “Of course,” they all replied. I finally got the message. They felt the fear and did what they wanted to do anyway. I knew then that I needed to confront my fear if I wanted to accomplish my goals.

What do you fear?

  • Rejection
  • Failure
  • Being judged
  • Humiliation
  • Abandonment
  • Success

What’s the top on your list?

The twin seduction of comfort and apathy can cheat you out of your life,and the fear factor can stop you dead in your tracks. However,I believe there are two other reasons some people do not embrace the power of change in their lives. First,deep down,many do not have confident in themselves to take a chance,to dream and to invest time in pursuing those dreams. These destructive patterns keep many people stuck forever. Sadly,they die with their music still locked inside them.

If you lack self-confidence,know that you are not alone. Nearly half of the people i meet say they feel the same way. The good news is that you can avoid making this a life sentence.

Everything you want is on the other side of fear-George Addair