When you are looking at building self-esteem,one of the factors to consider is Integrity. This means honesty- matching who you are on the inside with who you are on the outside. Young children are often more integral than adults. They speak the truth,with no agenda about having to please or displease anyone else. They cry when they ‘re hurt and they get angry when they ‘re upset. There is no holding back or thinking about what others might or might not do.
When you are not being true to yourself or to others, the fraud is directed right back at you. Your self-esteem takes the hit.Courage and Independent thinking are essential ingredients for being authentic. But courage and independent thinking are elusive traits and this is the reason why so few people are authentic.
Racheal says,”I try to impress people when I don’t even respect them.I hate myself when I do that,and I often stay silent when I don’t agree with what’s being said.”
Racheal needs to speak up and be honest. By silencing her truth,she has become devoid of integrity.
The more integral we are,the more self-respect we earn. Our self-esteem begins to flourish.
Another crucial aspect of integrity is keeping our word. It’s not easy and I believe this is one of the prime reasons our world is in such a state. Do you keep your word? All the time?
When you break your word,you break an agreement. There’s no such thing as a little agreement. All agreements are important; they are all based on doing what you say you are going to do. The outcome can be war when leaders of countries break agreements.Husbands and wives break agreemens,and marriages fall apart.When business partners break agreements,the lawyers get rich.
This is really a big point: All broken relationships can be traced back to broken agreements.
Some people give their word without even realizing they have given it because they treat it so casually.Think about how you feel when a friend breaks her word to you. If she becomes a repeat offender,what does it do to your relationship? How do you feel about trusting and respecting this person?Not very good. I’ll bet. You feel let down,angry or upset. Let’s turn this other way,What happens to you when you know you have broken your word? You may beat yourself up or rationalize why it was acceptable,or apologize to cover it up. But you can only get away with saying sorry for so long,It damages your self-esteem.
Be conscious when you are giving your word.Focus! Treat your word as if it’s all you have. Your word is your bond. It’s what sets you apart in the Integrity stakes.
If you want great relationships and you want to be trusted,keep your word.
How often? Everyday. Let’s take a simple example that challenges many people. Do you show up on time? The answer is yes or no,not “it depends.” Being late is another way we sabotage our self-esteem and our relationships. It indicates a lack of respect for someone else’s time.If you make a habit of being late,ask yourself why? Is it about control or resistance? What are you making more important than keepimg your word?
Hear me,this is huge! Being lose with your word will gradually erode your self- respect and self- trust until it becomes a mere speck on your integrity scale.
Honor your commitments with Integrity-Les Brown