The family dynamics has dramatically changed. Compared to the pace experienced by our grandmothers and even our mothers,life today is faster and more demanding. More than 68 percent of women now have jobs. Employers require higher levels of commitment and performance, and kids are involved in more extracurricular activities.Women routinely add the job of chauffeur to their growing lists of responsibilities. However,working women who hold on to the ideal picture of motherhood are setting themselves up for an exhausting, resentful existence.
When it comes to motherhood,many of us cling to old thinking. We still believe that the gold standard goes to stay-at-home moms. These women can spend more time with their young children because they don’t have the pressure of a job outside of the home. Stay-at-home moms volunteer in the classroom,bake cookies and have time to play with their children during the day along with running the household. The gold standard doesnt work anymore . It needs redefining. The first shift you need to make is a mental one.Let go of the old paradigm that worked for your mother.In this new world,the old stereotype doesn’t fit anymore. You need to abandon traditional definitions. Creating excellent balance today has a lot to do with letting go.
When you work full time,you go home to nightly chores and end up with weekends fillled with to-do lists,you can’t possibly live up to this ideal mom role. When you are not happy,the family is not happy. No wonder balance is elusive.
Don’t confuse having a career with having a life–Hilliary Rodham Clinton
Being consumed with your mother role robs you of balance. This can easily happen,especially when you are raising young children. Your kids become the focus-all your attention and energy is poured into this. But it’s important to separate yourself from your sleep-deprived,snack-making,diaper changing role. Wear something other than sweats with that permanent drool stain on the shoulder. If you don’t take regular timeouts for you,balance will quickly be lost.Please understand that i am not trying to abdicate your role as a mother. Far from it. But can you really have it all? Probably not,especially if you are still hanging on to the June Cleaver standard of motherhood.
Let go. Change your mind about the perfect “mom” model and tune in to the reality of the world today. There are many ways to be a great mom. Let go of any guilt you may be feeling,and let yourself of the hook.
Balance comes in the moment you stand up for the life you truly want by making choices that align with that life.