Your marriage depends on how willing you are to do what you need to do to be accountable for your thoughts and and actions.
When trouble erupts,many couples go to therapy. Good step! But that’s not all,Here is one out of the three key preconditions to keep your marriage from derailing. Keep in touch for the remaining two.
- Consider the possibility that you contribute to ongoing or past problems.
I know it’s tough to admit,but a marital couple is composed of two people who bring unique issues to the relationship. Before you complain about what your partner is or not doing,first take a hard look at yourself.
I am not asking you to be the scapegoat for problems or to be responsible for things that are not yours.I am asking you to entertain the idea that you are not the perfect mate. You may be close to perfection,far away from perfection,or somewhere in between,so can we open up to this possibility?
Start by asking these questions:
- Do I carry old wounds from my past?
- Am I operating out of fear or other unhealthy emotions?
- Have I blamed my spouse for things that are really my fault?
- Am I allowing myself to be deceived,falling away from the truth?
- Am I willing to believe change is possible?
- Am I walking in a close and intimate relationship with God,or have I relegated Him to a backseat position?
- Do I even believe what God says is true?
When you allow deception to creep into your life-a little here,a little there,soon you deviate from God’s plan and become the enemies pawn. The further you veer from God’s truth,the more difficult it is to keep the marital covenant.
It’s time to stop blaming and to access accurately your contribution to the damage.Beginning to do this opens the possibility for change.Start by asking God to reveal things in your life that requires changing.These things may be unrelated to your spouse but they will certainly affect him or her.Spend time in prayer and listen for God to speak.
Mistakes are portals of discovery