Stuck in a bad Marriage

If you feel “stucked” in your marriage because you made a bad choice,married unconsciously,or had a lapse of stupidity,there’s still hope for a better day.It’s possible to have a good marriage even when it starts off wrong,goes wrong,or just feels wrong. How so? Start with foundational belief-marriage is a convenant not a contract. Really most marriages are salvageable. Even when problems don’t seem solvable,people stay together. You may be surprised to learn that solving problems is not the basis for a happy,satisfied marriage.

Am I saying there are no conditions under which divorce is permissible? No,of course not. There are biblical conditions under which divorce is permitted. But most divorces are pursued because of personal unhappiness, selfishness and an unwillingness to extend grace and forgiveness.Most divorces are about hurting back or refusing to be hurt again.

If you are someone who has suffered domestic violence,repeated affairs,and abandonment by a spouse,this is not meant to condemn or judge you. Obviously there is biblical permission to address these conditions through divorce. No one wants you harmed or suffering. I’m talking to people who simply want out for reasons other than abuse and repeated infidelity. Frankly,I’ve seen marriages turned around dramatically even under those conditions. The major marital complaint I hear most often is, I’m just not happy” Ok get happy but don’t use divorce as the solution.When you decide to end a relationship,you behave differently. Knowing you can get out whenever things get rough changes everything. It is easier to take offence and keep it.it’s easier to blame the other person. Infact you ‘re almost forced to do all the above in order to reinforce your obsession to leave.

In 1997,politicians in Louisana wanted to do something to curtail the high divorce rate. Their thinking was that if divorce wasn’t so easy to get,maybe people would slow down and try to work through problems. As a result,Louisiana adopted the first convenant marriage laws in the United States. Couples voluntarily and legally agree to receive premarital counselling and not to divorce unless for adultery,abuse,or abandonment. For couples considering divorce,a two-year waiting period with counselling was mandated .The intent of this law qas to encourage couples to do everything possible for reconciliation-a novel idea in today’s culture of divorce. However,only three states have convenant marriage laws and the rate of sign-up is hardly impressive.However,the intent of convenant marriage laws is to honor the idea of lifelong marriage.

The church has finally begun to speak up. Family-focused ministries, counselors,and conferences have mobilized resources to help people affirm their vows.

If you don’t believe marriage is a convenant, no marriage encounter,enrichment,or seminar you attend will matter.Everything will fall on deaf ears.

Unhappiness is often related to something in you rather than in the other person

Begin by changing the way you think about marriage. If you ‘re looking for a legal out,you ‘ll find one. If instead you ‘re looking for reconciliation and forgiveness, you ‘ll stay together under even the most difficult circumstances.

American culture tends to promote the pursuit of hapiness over everything else,but when the moment of hapiness passes,you still have to deal with the consequences of your choices. Value convenant. Learn to love what and how God loves and you ‘ll find joy

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