We all believe in the common misconception that human love can rescue us from our weaknesses,failures,and hurts. We have to grasp the truth that only God can meet our needs and compensate for a lack of love from others. Everywhere around the world,people seek for love. This is one thing everybody,irrespective of colour,country,race,or gender desires. So often,in our quest to find love, our emotions, impulses or lack of knowledge makes us search in the wrong places.
It is wrong to search for love with another man. God is the source of love. When we find God,we have found love.When we have found the source of love which is God,He can guide us to love someone else. We shall then have receive love in our own imperfections and be ready to bless without exploiting someone else.
It is wrong to search for love with someone who doesn’t reciprocate same. Love that flows from one direction isn’t enough to sustain a meaningful relationship. A reciprocated love is one that makes a relationship meaningful.
Love means different things to different people,depending on the understanding of the person expressing it:
- A hole in the heart Ben Hecht
- A grave mental disease Plato
- Desperate madness. John Ford
- Mutual understanding. Oscar Wilde
Other definitions of love are:
- A feeling that may not last
- A euphemism for a sexual relationship
- A feeling of fondness towards a provider
What does love mean to you?
A broader perspective in attempting to capture the real essence of love would be classifying it into three major categories:
- Romantic love
- The love of friendship
- Covenant love
This type of love is based on feelings and emotions. It is usually passion-induced. It includes the allure,excitement, mystery,day-dreaming and obsessions of love. Most relationships are triggered by sentimental love,usually called ‘love at first sight’ ,’puppy love’ or ‘falling head over heels in love.’
Romantic is usually described as that love that makes one come alive with feelings that are out of this world. It is erotic,it is about burning and being sexually attracted to someone. Romantic love and being physically attracted to your spouse is essential for marriage. However,if not nourished with time,friendship and commitment,it will readily die and is too weak to build marriage on its own.
The Love Of Relationship
This is the a stage of love. It encourages the intimacy of knowing each other deeply,unconditionally accepting each other, and giving each other freedom to show pain,depression, anger,frustration, and the freedom of honest expression of personal feelings and thoughts,especially negative,unpleasant ones. This type of intimacy is what we call true friendship filled with beauty and life. At this stage of true love,emotions are merged with rational thinking. The reciprocity,mutual giving,and sharing.
A relationship cannot develop unless you are truly free to be yourself and you cannot be yourself entirely unless you know that your partner accepts you unconditionally and will always be there.Marriage cannot be founded only on romantic love. It need to be founded on carefully developed intimacy.
This kind of love does not make any demands on you. Your partner loves you because of who you are and not because of what you do or how you make him feel . It is love that is predicated on commitment and binds people together like a convenant.
Convenant love gives up the self and makes you accept that you are no longer on your own. You have become one with another person,who has no right over himself or herself anymore. In our culture,when we become impatient with something that us inconvenient,we get rid of it. We are living in an era where everything is disposable. We exchange and replace without a second thought,even when we have problems in our marriage. In commitment or convenant love,no matter what your spouse does(right or wrong), there is one fact you cannot rationalize and that is,you gave your word,your promise to forsake all others for as long as you both shall live. Convenant is for better or for worse. This convenant is essential to make marriage work. Therefore,be careful how quickly you say, ‘I do’
However,all three above are important if a marriage is to be happy and meaningful. Just as convenant love makes love last,friendship love makes it healthy and functional, while romantic love adds glamour and zest to the marriage.
A measure of the love you share with somebody can be determined or evaluated by how you feel when you are with him or her. In other words,how does he or she make you feel? Does he or she bring out the best in you? Mostly,what we call love is far from the kind of love that will sustain marriage. You need to look inwards and determine whether the feelings and emotions that exists between you and your partner would stand the test if true love.
Love can make or break people,so you need to be very careful when interpreting your feelings. Is the feeling that you have for this person predicated on an inner physical beauty? Inorderwords,is it the container,or the content that you love? Although both are important, you cannot appreciate the container if you don’t like the content. Inner beauty possesses the superior material that true love is made of.