The sexual aspect depends on perceptions about sexuality. Certain attitudes and reservations about sex have to be resolved so that they do not become overwhelming issues in marriage. These issues should not be overlooked as some people probably do. They should rather be discussed seriously and honestly. Some of these issues include:
- Am I worried about sexual compatibility?
Are you hot or cold sexually or bothered about your partner’s sexual disposition? There are clues to help you unravel this as sexual intercourse is definitely forbidden until you are legally married.
If you are easily attracted to the opposite sex,little things excite you sexually, or you react to touch by the opposite sex easily,you could be sexually active and the same is reflected in your partner. You could also find out more about his or her sexual disposition in conversations.
As your courtship progresses,you could introduce sexuality into your discussions. You could ask what he or she thinks of a man who place demands on his wife five times a day.The response will give you a clue about his or her sexual feelings. Beyond all this,pray and ask God to give you your match. Remember, God detest sexual sin before marriage.
If you want to experience a fulfilling sexual relationship in marriage,you need to concentrate on meeting each other’s needs.
- How do I look physically?
Are you tall,short,slim,or fat? If you are presently slim,do you have the capacity to be fat? You must be aware that sexual attraction is closely related to physical attraction. Anyone to whom you are not physically attracted to cannot be sexually attracted to you.
I suggest you marry to someone whom you have strong sexual attraction for.
- Do I prefer a particular complexion in the opposite sex?
You will readily know this by the way you react when you see a dark or light-skinned person. For some people,this is not a serious issue,once every other condition has been met. If,however,you are more attracted to a particular kind of complexion,you will do well to add it to the list of attributes your wife or husband must have.
- Do I admire a particular feature in a man or woman?
Do you like long legs,pointed nose,beautiful dentition,a narrow face,or high cheekbones? Ask yourself,when you see a man or woman,what is the first thing you look out for? You may want to find someone who fits that description to avoid succumbing to temptations in the future.
- Am I a virgin?
If you are no longer a virgin or previoulsy had abortions,or perhaps have contracted a venerable disease in the past,it is advisable that you confide in your intended spouse so as to avoid problems of rejection in the future. All these issues must be discussed before the marriage takes place.
- Do I have a child with another man or woman?
If you intend to bring a child into your marriage out of a past mistake or a failed marriage,it is of utmost importance that you discuss this with your new partner to avoid rejection.
Rejection will be detrimental to both of you and the child for it can deal an emotional blow to your self-esteem.
- Am I only emotionally attached to this person?
Sometimes,we make the mistake of equating flawless beauty or good looks with flawless character. Be sure that your emotions are not taking control of your sense of reasoning.
- Do we get involved in heavy petting,necking,and kissing?
You put yourself in danger when you indulge in these acts because they stimulate your sexual urge and can lead to regret. Petting,necking, smooshing,and kissing can be deluding. People do it for self-gratification,and not to show commitment and true love.
- Does my intended spouse make sexual demands of me?
Premarital sex hinders you from building intimacy and friendship. It points to the fact that neither of you are ready for dating or courtship, not to mention marriage. A person who cannot control his or her sexual urge while courting may have a problem with fidelity in marriage. Such a person may not be able to make the right decisions in life. Making sexual demands because of pressure is obviously a wrong decision,yet what makes a person mature enough for marriage is his or her ability to make the right decisions. A promiscuous partner is susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases(STDs).
Is your relationship built on romantic love or carefully developed intimacy which is deeply knowing and continually accepting of each other?
- Do I want to get married because I want to experience sex and escape from problems?
If you answer yes to this question,your marriage will be faulty.
- Does he prefer children of a particular sex?
If he prefers children of a particular sex,you may be unhappy as his wife.Children are a gift from God and should be accepted as such. The man should understand that the cell of the male and not the female determines the child’s sex.
- Is my intended spouse flirtatious?
A flirtatious person is irresponsible,selfish,and weak. No matter how attracted you are to a man like this,it is always preferable to severe the relationship ties because he will break your heart. Someone like this will almost be a failure in marriage,for he will not be able to provide the emotional and sexual intimacy required.
A woman like this is usually is a failure when it comes to handling the routines of daily life. In both cases, there is a high probability of extra-marital affairs if you do get married.
- Is he preoccupied with sex or sex-related subjects,movies,and books?
The person may indulge in perversions that you may not be able to cope with,like pornography,maturbation,homosexuality,bestiality,or rape. Besides,he or she could have a very big appetite for sex.
The period of courting is the time for intreviews and not for intercourse