Each person has some level of commitment to certain things or people they consider important or special. Without commitment,it is almost imgivingpossible to make a relationship work. However,to be committed to a wrong thing or person may lead to bitter regrets. Your primary commitment should be to God because He created you and knows what is best for you. A person who is not committed to God and to obeying His instructions will certainly not be committed to marriage.
Find out who or what your intended spouse is committed to before attempting marriage. Some pertinent questions have been highlighted.
- How much do I love God?
This is very important. Are you obsessed with the things of God? Does your life revolve around obeying God? If you can answer these questions in the affirmative,then the person you are engaged to must have the same desires as you.If this is not so,you will find yourself constantly in conflict.
You must also realise that love never fails when on shared commitment to God.
To achieve oneness,a couple must share a strong resolve to find God’s purpose for their marriage.
- What is my view on sin?
This may seem like a minor consideration,but it holds great importance. Many people make distinction between big and small sins. If you are the kind of person who hates sin in its entirety,you won’t make this distinction.
If you go ahead and marry someone who compromises as the occasion demands,somebody who believes that a little white lie won’t hurt,it could have unpleasant consequences. Either this person will always cause you to compromise or you are going to frustrate him or her. You need somebody that sees sin as sin.
- Do I delight in giving?
If you are such a person who delights in giving things to the Lord in offering or to the downtrodden,a spouse who does not even believe in paying tithes or giving at all could be a negative influence in your life. The attitude he or she will bring into the home may rob you of God’s blessings. There should be aagreement especially about tithing.
- Are we committed Christians or nominal church goers?
The difference between a nominal church goer and a born again Christian is that,while the latter is committed fully and unflinchingly to the things of God,the former has a fear of God but is afraid to become totally committed to God. God is perfect. The closer a man is to perfection,the closer he will be to God. Our Christian behavior is not the source of our perfection,but rather a result of it.If we understand this,then it should be easy for us to see that our behavior follows as a natural response to our relationship with God. Do not be deceived,for a person to give true love,hor she must be close and committed to God.
- For how long has my intended spouse been committed to God?
The person to whom you intend to commit the rest of your life must have been in the Lord long enough for the Christian tenets to have meaning in his or her life. Beyond this,it should be evident that the fruit of the spirit has taken root in his or her life.
No matter how matured a person is mentally,physically,or even financially, if he or she is not spiritually mature,problems may develop in the mrriage.
- Can my intended spouse complement my efforts to accomplish my purpose in life?
Does the person you intended to be engaged to know what your hopes and dreams are? Does he or she identifies with them? Does he or she has what it takes to help you accomplish those goals?
- Can this person meet my needs spiritually,physically, mentally, and financially?
This is important because you cannot really love someone who does not meet yur needs. If you desire your spouse to love and respect you, meet his or her (reasonable)needs.
- Is this relationship drawing me closer to God?
Has your relationship with this person been spiritually fulfilling so far? Has it improved your relationship with God? Has it made you a better person spiritually ? God should be more evident in your life as a result of your relationship. If this has not happened and is not happening,you may want to reconsider walking down the aisle,for you cannot be fulfilled without God.
- Are we of the same faith?
The faith you share will be very important for your spiritual wellbeing in marriage. This is so because what you profess spiritually impacts on your priorities,goals,lifestyle,and the relationship in general.
- Does he or she makes sacrifices for me?
If the person you intend to be engaged to sacrifice his or her wishes to make you happy,a marriage with him or her will not be interesting and fulfilling.
- Do we have peace in our relationship?
While courting,are you always misunderstanding and quarrelling each other? Your courtship is an example of what your marriage will be like.
- Am I ready to live with person for the rest of my life?
Are you really a committed person? Can you be committed to this person for better,for worse? If you cannot,then,it is better not to even begin at all.
- Do I always give more than I receive from the relationship?
If your relationship is one-sided,perhaps,you are giving 85% and your partner is giving 15%. You need to address this situation before marrying.
- Are we in love and committed to each other, or is one of us forcing or manipulating the other into marriage for some reason?
Do you really love this person or are you just ‘playing house’ to get him or her to marry you for selfish reasons of your own? Search your soul and start your marriage on the right footing. Love means taking the initiative to give blessings and to relieve your mate’s burdens. Selfishness can destroy oneness in marriage. With prayer,receive revelation of your partner’s true intention towards you.
- Does this person know me?
Will he or she contribute to,answer and respect my wants,needs,and fears? Without this,love will not grow.