Problems often arise in relationships when issues that are of great concern to the wellbeing of such relationship is not thoroughly considered,evaluated and reevaluated as the case may be.
Problems with communication includes:
What are my Speech Patterns,Thoughts,and Actions like?
Are you someone who is eloquent in speech or able to process thoughts accurately? Are you always forthright? Do you find it easy to express your opinion about something or taking action? It is important to ensure your habits align with your partner’s disposition.
How Do We Communicate?
Do you know how to communicate? Courtship is a time for interviews,not intercourse.
Communication is the exchange of feelings and information. See it as the life of the relationship.
Where communication is lacking,information will be lacking.
You need to show interest in the way you with your partner communicate.
Communication is when you can sit comfortably with your partner and honestly express your ideals,values,feelings,likes and dislikes,hopes,fears,and desires.If you are unable to achieve this,then,your marriage does not stand a good chance of succeeding.
Do I like Teasing People and can I Stand Being Teased?
If you find it interesting to tease people and you become engaged to someone who cannot stand being teased. You may find your relationship uncomfortable at the long run.Study your intended spouse and see if both of you can adjust to each other.
Do we Spend Time Together Communicating Verbally or do we Spend Time in Romance?
Being overly involved in romance than communication could make your partner nurse resentment towards you.Besides,what you perceive as love could be lust or infatuation. Be careful, marriage is not based on appearance but on good communication.
Do I Interact Freely with my Intended Spouse?
Do you feel comfortable talking with your partner or do you need someone else to be around before you can freely express yourself? If this is the case,you need to reevaluate your relationship.
Does He or She Listen to my Suggestions,Ideas and Ideals,or will He or She Dismiss my Criticisms and Reject my Input and Participation in the Relationship?
You should be able to judge this from the manner in which the two of you relate. If he or she disregard or humiliates you often,there shouldn’t be any reason to take the relationship further except if you don’t mind being marginalized.
However,a person who does not mind being marginalized isn’t matured emotionally and psychologically and will be unlikely to sustain a relationship.
Does My Partner Talk Down At Me?
A person that talks down at you rather than talk with you or talk to you does not have the right attitude for an interactive relationship like marriage.
How is my Partner’s Choice of Words?
Does he or she utter profanities or inspiring words?Would he or she curse readily than bless? The words you employ shows the state of your mind.
Does He or She Listens When I Talk?
Your partner should listen and be attentive to details when you are talking. Total attention shows concern and care.Not paying attention or listening passively communicates insensitivity or disregard for your individuality.
Does my Parter Avoid Issues or Discuss Them?
Would your partner chose to sit down to converse with you or stand up and walk away? Does he or she makes excuses whe you need to discuss something you consider crucial to both of you especially when it is demanding or challenging? Such a person is not matured to withstand the challenges of marriage.
How Committed is my Partner to Maintaining Healthy Communication?
Your partner should be very positive about communication.He or she should always be willing to talk and explain things so you are left in no doubt about the true position of things.A good partner should always reach out and talk,even when the other person is withdrawn or non-communicative.
Do I Feel Comfortable To Disagree With My Partner On Any Issue?
If your partner sulks or lashes out when you disagree with him or her on any issue,he or she may have a domineering attitude in marriage.This is not healthy in anyway.
Have We Discussed Our Differences?
Are you both aware of the differences between a man and a woman?Have you discussed your background? Do you both know your expectations from each other? True equality in marriage is achieved when a husband and a wife come to understand, appreciate and honour each other’s differences.
Just as Andy Stanley, said, “Every time I stand to communicate I want to take one simple truth and lodge it in the heart of the listener. I want them to know that one thing and know what to do with it.”