How does your intended spouse communicate? It is important that you study his or her mode of communication.
What he says or do not say is a form communication. This may sound strange to you,but silence is a form of communication. When people decide not to speak to each other,they are not communicating verbally. Nonetheless,they are communicating volumes non-verbally.
The danger in all non-verbal communication is that the meaning we intend to convey may be distorted by any of the above indices and the wrong messages may be picked up. The interpretation and understanding of non-verbal messages are entirely depend on your partner’s perception and judgement.
Morever,most non-verbal messages are instinctive,and often you do not have any control over them.
You need to be extricate any bottled up feelings or emotions you may have towards your partner or a particular situation. Do not leave your partner in the guessing game. Even though you are communicating whe you are talking,you should rather choose to talk,because you do not want to be misunderstood.
This is,however,not to suggest that when communication is verbal,there is always perfect understanding. In some cases,non-verbal cues interfere with the messages we receive. This could either amplify or adulterate the message. What you pick up ultimately may vary from what was actually intended.This is why communication is said to be incomplete till there is a feedback. The feedback conveys what your partner had received,interpreted,and had made of what was communicated.
You can achieve a healthy relationship with your partner if you understand that communication is a process and rarely an open and shut case.
Verbal communication is extricating our ideas,feelings,concerns,messages, likes,and dislikes. In contrast with non-verbal communication, where we seldom pass messages involuntarily,in verbal communication,we.pass on messages voluntarily through speech. We say what we have in mind.
Studies indicate that half of all divorced cases result from bad communication, which is when we do not take to communicate verbally what we really feel. This exposes us to the danger of being misunderstood.
When we do.not talk,our partner is left to deduce from the situation what he or she imagines it to be.
In a healthy marriage,partners talk.about everything. Their communication is spontaneous,transparent and open. They do not hold anything back and do not try to manipulate one another.
When communication becomes non-verbal,stiff,formal,or non-existent,marriages and relationships deteriorate. By the time we stop communicating verbally,our relationships has stopped growing. When people do not get along anymore,one of them is apt to say, ” We grew apart.” Actually,they just stopped communicating the right way. Let me make an important distinction,talking is not the same as communicating. To communicate verbally,of.course,you need to talk,but just talking do not entail communicating. You can talk about your day and you can talk about the awful storm; you can talk about the morning shower and still end up not communicating. In a relationship,till you begin to convey emotions,feelings,personal experinces,what you really think, your fears,you are not communicating. Intimacy comes not so much from sharing little things that are important to the person in your life.
Marriage experts agree that a healthy relationship requires at least an hour of meaningful verbal communication a day.
Listening to your partner when he or she is talking is very important. Effective listening means that you give him or her your undivided attention when he or she talking and that you are are not thinking of what you are going to say immediately he or she stops talking. You should be totally tuned in to what he or she is saying. Listening should be more than politely waiting for your turn to speak,it should be more than merely hearing words. Effective listening is receiving and seeking ways of understanding what you are receiving.
Most people erroneously believe that listening is a passive act. Realmlistening devotes attnetion,creatwa time,reaches out to the other person,and makes a conscious effort to understand what the other person is saying or wants to say. Active listening demands that you listen with your whole being. This shows that you care The importance of communicating verbally and listening can not be over-emphasized. A partner that communicates verbally will not be difficult to please. Furthermore,people like this rarely harbour resentment because they often voice their hurts. With someone like this,you will always know what to expect and will readily gain insight into how to adjust or at least know how to live with him or her.
The underlying factor here is that,when there is no verbal communication,there is no understanding, becaus othe situation breeds misunderstanding. When there is no understanding, there is no meaningful relationship and where there is no meaningful relationship,there cannot be love.
Communication between you and your partner can be likened to the circulatory system. We can understand more of the intricacies of meaningful communication by observing the workings of the circulatory system in the human body.