Inorder for you to experience a beautiful and fulfilling life,letting go of past hurts or pains can be the respite.
The most important factor here is Forgiving yourself
There is a lot of freedom and joy when you are able to release your past burdens including your own mistakes.
Have you noticed that the word,Forgiveness is grounded by the word give? By forgiving, we give ourselves a gift.We choose to let go of the past,in the hope that by doing so,we will make a better life in the future.
What Forgiveness Is Not
There are four misconceptions which sorrounds forgiveness. These false impressions has held many people back for many years. These misconceptions are:
Forgiveness does not seek an apology. You are not asking for validation for your pain,or any other form of compensation. It is unconditional and personal. You may wait a lifetime for compensation and never receive it.
Blaming,adopting a one-upmanship position or feeling morally superior has nothing to do with forgiveness. These attitudes are about you being right. They will keep you stuck.
Forgiveness isn’t letting someone else off the hook. You are still holding him or her responsible for the wrongdoing,and rightly so.
In some situations,time never fully heals bad memories. Forgiveness is not about ignoring pain or the wrong that was done to you. Your reality cannot be denied.
You will remain a victim unless you avoid these four misconceptions. They keep you powerless. Do not allow the pain of the past to become a permanent crutch in your life.
To remind yourself,memorize this statement:I am forgiving you because I’ve paid enough. Now I am ready to move on.
Steps To Forgiving Yourself
Step 1: Accept What You Did
Take full responsibility for your actions or inactions.Confront the situation head on,no excuses or denial. I suggest you journal your thoughts. This will bring clarity,and help purge the memory. Allow yourself to be emotional. Release any pain you have,shed some tears if you need to.
Step 2: Confession
Confession is one of the oldest and best methods for unloading heavy burdens. It works! Confess to God,or someone else, what you did. Nothing you have done,no shame deep enough can seperate you from your creator. Reconcile your relationship with God if you need to. Telling someone else is a bonus. We share our humanness by showing each other that we make mistakes. Letting go of the pain with someone you trust will prevent you from making excuses or living in denial.
Step 3: Give Up Self-flagellation
There is no value in continuing to punish yourself, even though you feel you deserve to be condemned. Remaining a victim will negatively affect the relationship you have with yourself and with others.
Step 4 : Make Ammends If Appropriate
A sincere apology or a verbal olive branch may be all that is required. Perhaps,you need to return something or pay back money which you owe. A word of caution- for every choice there is a consequence.Sometimes you can create more damage by the way you make ammends. Be discerning. It’s imperative that you proceed with the right intentions,having no expectations about the outcome.
Step 5 : What Did You Learn?
Mistakes have a habit of reoccuring unless your eyes are wide open.I believe all of life’s experiences are designed to teach you something. If you have blinders on,you will miss the lesson and its significant to your life.
As a perfectionist,it is much easier to forgive others than to forgive yourself. This is not right at all. You need to focus more on self-acceptance. By doing so,you will notice that having compassion for yourself becomes easier.
Learn to forgive yourself. Travel through life lightly,unburdened by guilt.It’s one of the best gifts you can give yourself and those you love.