Most people define themselves by the work they do or the role they play in the family. “I’m a teacher/doctor/ media consultant/computer programmer/mother/wife/widow.” All of these words fall short of describing the multifaceted dimensions which makes them complete human beings.Most people talk about what they do or who they serve,but they have little or no idea about the rest of their makeup.
My question to you is, Who are you,apart from your role at home? To some women,there’s no ready answer to the question. They are unusure of where they fit into. This situation is not unusual.So many women are caught up in the busyness of their life at home or in the office that they don’t realize their entire well-being is based on the success of these roles.To avoid these, see yourself as a whole person.
If you are an income earner,a portion of you carries out specific duties at work and at home.But where does the rest of you show up? Has the other portion been put on hold or buried somewhere? It’s difficult to see yourself ad anything but a mom when you are at home with small children most of the day.If your hours are filled with looking after an elderly parent,your caretaking role is prominent; and if you are an enterpreneur investing fourteen hours a day living,eating and breathing your business,sleep may be the only other item on your agenda.
There are stages in your life when a particular role may be all-consuming. The danger is over-identifying with your role,holding on so tightly that you choke off the other parts of your life.Perhaps your saving grace is knowing that it won’t last forever.
Definitely,as mothers,we are the mother hen.Investing incredible amount of time with the children all the way from preschool to high school graduation. Sometimes,we even mother our husbands,losing the idea of what the true role of a wife is or how it is different from the role we play with our children. Sometimes,our life is consumed with giving,giving,and giving,- filling the gaps but we definitely know that our spirit wanted something else.
I remembered a motto of one of my friend.It said, “If it moved,feed it,burp it and mother it.” Interesting isn’t it?
It is absolutely necessary to your overall wellbeing that you handle your motherly role lightly.Your children will receive an immediate reward for this.They will become more accountable and able to test their new freedom and flexibility. The truth is that mother hen had stopped presiding over every details in their lives. Now,everything is put in perspective.
Author and talkshow host,Phil McGraw makes a crucially important comment about this. “As a mother,your primary relationship is with your husband.Women who become mothers have a natural tendency to pour 100 percent of their attention and affection on the children. This is okay in the short term,but if it becomes excessive-all baby,no husband-a rift will develop in the primary relationship Taken to extremes,this may permanently result inna ll baby, no husband.Most marriages fall apart as a resulf of this.