An intimate relationship between a man and a woman should always begin with friendship.Often people do not know when to move from friendship to a more committed stage- the courtship level. This is a potential source of heartache,since people can feel uncelebrated and unloved.
We are aware that when love and attention exceeds the friendship level.If we do not respond to it by either encouraging or discouraging it,we wrong the other person.
Let’s take a look at these important factors to consider:
- More Than Friendship
It is extremely vital to define your relationships inorder to put things in perspective.
Take for example,if you are a man and you have a friendship going with a lady for over a year and in all sincerity,she possess all the qualities you desire in a woman. You should take the friendship further by starting a courtship right away,since the lack of commitment means that you could lose her altogether. You could go ahead to make your intentions known, but to court her for another two or more years before deciding on marriage.
Defining the relationship would help the both of you to focus better and to be more committed. Courtship is the perfect time to discover things about each other, and you are under no obligation to marry her if you realise that you didn’t like her enough.This shouldn’t mean people should take courtship lightly. People aren’t cars that you can test-drive; they have hearts that can break.
- Ask Questions
As a man or woman,you should be at liberty to ask questions when your feelings for someone go beyond friendship.Some women feel shy to sk questions especially in African societ where women are easily judged.
There’s nothing wrong with asking a person of the opposite sex what his/her intentions are once you have been friends for five or six months.It doesn’t mean you are proposing or rushing the person.It only helps the relationship to develop to a deeper level- courtship or saves you time if nothing is going to become of the relationship.
Courtship isn’t the same as marriage,but it does imply exclusive commitment to one another,and give you the opportunity to ask questions about the other person which may have been inappropriate when you were merely friends.
- Be Friendly
Any man or woman can make the first move to become friends with a person of the opposite sex.There’s a huge difference between being friendly and being untoward. It is okay for women to be friendly with men,as long as they don’t send the wrong signals.
- Do not Pretend
When you have feelings for someone,don’t pretend about it.Express it in anyway you can but not to the extent that it will rob you off your self-worth or self-esteem. It isn’t healthy for you to suppress your feelings.Let it be known to the other person and do not be afraid of the outcome either good or bad.
- Know What You Want
It is important that young people should know their real identity and what their life’s vision or purpose is.Having a clear vision will help you decide on a suitable life partner who will complement your goals.Knowing what you want also helps you to define a relationship.
A Word To The Men
Every man needs to watch out for relationship difficulties that rises from ego problems.Men often refuse to admit that they are wrong,and would rather make wrong choices than ‘bow’ to a woman,even though she may be right in a particular situation.
Some feel threatened and insecure when the women the women they love become successful.They assert their ‘superiority’ to counter this insecurity,demeaning these women in the process. Such men are impossible to please.They need to realize that there isn’t need for competition in marriage rather complementing and seeking the best for one another. Men should also be able to feel comfortable and secure with their natural leadership role.
A Word To The Ladies
A woman’s attitude will either attract men or drive them away.
When a woman is overly pushy,edgy,arrogant and bossy,men tend to avoid such women.Every man wants a woman who needs him,not just one who wants him.If your position and achievement cause you to act as if you don’t need anything,men are unlikely to show interest in you. Your femininity is your greatest asset.