It’s not enough to say something,how it’s been said and how it finally comes across is equally important and to be considered too.
Communication isn’t complete till the other person perceives and understands the message.This is why much effort should go into communication.There’s need for the other person to hear and understand you,and for you to be sure that the message he or she picks is exactly what was intended.
Now,here are ways we communicate and let’s see how we can improve on them.
How do your partner communicate? It’s important to study your partner’s mode of communication. What he says or what she doesn’t say is a form of communication.This may sound strange to you,but silence is also a form of communication.When people choose not to speak to each other,they aren’t communicating verbally,nonetheless,they are speaking volumes non-verbally.
Just as not speaking at all is a form of communication,there are other forms of non-verbal communication,some of which amplify verbal messages and others which are complete messages on their own. These include: body,facial expressions,gestures and dressing.
The danger in all non-verbal communication is that the meaning we intend to convey may be distorted by any of the above indices and the wrong messages may be picked up. The interpretation and understanding of non-verbal messages are entirely dependent on our partners’ perception and judgement. Moreover,most non-verbal messages are instinctive, and mostly we do not have any control over them.
You need to have an open communication. Make your real opinion known.Don’t leave your partner wondering what you meant or what’s going on in your mind.Even though you are communicating when you aren’t talking, you should rather choose to talk because you don’t like to be misunderstood.
This is however not to suggest that when communication is verbal,there’s always perfect understanding.In some cases,non-verbal cues interferes with the message you receive. This could either adulterate or amplify the message. What you finally pick up may vary from what was actually intended. This is why communication is said to be incomplete till there’s a feedback.The feedback conveys to you what your partner have received,interpreted and have made of what is communicated.
You can achieve a healthy relationship with your partner only if you understand that communication is a process and rarely and open and shut case.
Verbal communication is voicing our ideas,feelings,concerns, messages,likes and dislikes.In contrast with non- verbal communication, where we sometimes pass on messages involuntarily, in verbal communication,we pass on messages voluntarily via speech.We say what we have in mind.
By the time you stopped communicating verbally,your relationship has stopped growing.When people don’t get along anymore,one of them is apt to say, “We grew apart.” Actually you have stopped communicating the right way.An important distinction to note is talking is not the same as communicating. To communicate verbally,of course,you need to talk,but just talking doesn’t entail communicating. You can talk about your day or the awful storm,you can talk about the morning papers and still end up not communicating.
In a relationship,till you start to convey emotions,feelings,personal experiences,what you really think,or your fears,you aren’t communicating. Intimacy comes not so much from the sharing of serious topical issues,as it does from sharing little things which are important to the other person- your partner.
Listening to your partner when he or she is talking is very important.Effective listening means you give him or her undivided attention when he or she is talking and that you are not thinking about what you are going to say immediately he or she stops talking.Listening should be more than merely hearing words.Effective listening is receiving and seeking ways of understanding what you are receiving.
The importance of communicating verbally and listening can not be over-emphasized .They are equally important if you wish to have a sound relationship. A partner who communicates verbally will not be difficult to understand and therefore difficult to please. Furthermore,people like this are rarely burdened with animosity because they usually extricate their feelings. With someone like this,you will always know what is going on on his or her mind,and will readily gain insight into how to adjust or at least how to live with him or her.
The underlying factor here is that, where there is no verbs communication,there is no understanding,because the situation breeds misunderstanding. Where there’s no understanding,there is no meaningful relationship and where there is no meaningful relationship,there cannot be love.
Communication between you and your partner could be likened to the circulatory system.We can understand more of the intricacies of meaningful communication by observing the workings of the circulatory system in the human body.
In a relationship,communication is meant to flow unobstructed. By merely chatting or sharing the deepest dreams,making it a priority to listen to one another makes for a healthy relationship. Just as toxic substances can impair the flow in the circulatory system,faulty communication patterns can impair a relationship. When there is a communication breakdown,it is as though the relationship suffers a stroke.We become disabled.The growth of the relationship is stunned and if we do not reopen our communication channels fast, the relationship may die.