5 Valuable Lessons I learnt In 2019.

And so I was discussing with my God mother few days ago. And she said, “Omobola,what’s been happening to you? You aren’t the outgoing person you once were. You seem rather distant to your relationships.”

My response to her are summed up in what I will be listing below. They are the valuable lessons I have learnt in the year 2019. They are lessons that have helped me to curtail my once excessive mannerisms obvious in my life and in my relationships.

Here they are:

Channel my energy rightly

This is a major and critical lesson I learnt.

Usually,the biggest concerns we have are about the things which have happened in the past or what may potentially happen in the future.  However,when it comes to the past,if you do not let things go and tell yourself that it should remain there and not affect your life in this moment,then you are not leaving room to enjoy the moments that present themselves in your present.

I missed this valid point. Instead of channeling my energy on what is happening right now and benefit from the bounties,I chose to focus it extensively on the past. It was a total mess and I paid dearly for it.

Everything is energy and all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help to get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is Physics


Where your heart is,your energy flows. Sometimes,your mind may be in the wrong relationship or wrong thing at the moment,but because your energy is directed to that thing,you will definitely see results. That’s how strong and powerful energy is.

The lesson is-Be careful where you channel or focus your energy on.

Focus On what I do Best

I was all out trying to lay my hands on the opportunities within my reach. Mind you they were related to my area of specialization and core competencies. However,they were not what I ought to be doing at the present moment. So,these opportunities sapped my energy, and it yielded no positive results as I had expected.

Effectiveness begins with elimination. Choose your ignorances as carefully as your interests.

The Stoic Emperor

Really,not all opportunities are to be maximized even though they are in tandem with your goals/values. There is usually that one or two unique opportunity which is meant to bring you the inner peace and true sense of fulfillment. This is the part I missed.

Now,I know better- Focus on what I do best so that I can experience real and true satisfaction. And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing lately. Honing and investing in them like silly by not giving up on personal development.

Be In Charge Of My emotions.

Sometimes,we never truly know who we are till the people in our lives tell or remind us of it.

We all have emotions undoubtedly but for me,I am overly emotional. I hear my friends tell me, “Omobola,you need to slow down.” And that gets to me.

Is it because I’m a perfectionist to the core? Of course it is.Never mind,I’m a recovering perfectionist and this gave rise to how emotional I can be. Lool.

I’m an emotional basket case and I had no control over it. I realised that I was gradually losing treasured relationships due to this negligence. Now,I know better. Each day,I wake-up with positive affirmations about my emotions and it has really helped till date.

Quit the Approval-seeker Mentality.

Approval-seeking is a negative emotion. Those who seek approval never truly understand and accept themselves  both weaknesses and strengths. If you have a healthy self-value/self-worth,there won’t be need to be seeking for approval from anyone. So,it stems from our upbringing. However,it can be altered deliberately if we really want a change and improvement in our life and relationships. And this was devoid in my life for years. I lacked self-esteem,security and self-worth. The result- People took me for granted and getting away with it.

Though it’s a gradual process .With positive affirmations and positive,confident and secured people in my life,I can truly say tha this energy vampire is gradually evading my space.

Prove yourself to yourself and not to others.

Omobola Stephen

Pleasing people.

This is another energy vampire.

I just believed that low self-worth and self-esteem will definitely lead someone to think of pleasing people at all times.

Sometimes,it should be a ‘Me’ time. This is not selfish at all. You can never please or satisfy people anyway because it can never be enough. You keep giving and giving until you are drained.

This was exactly my situation. I was always filling the gaps. The outcome- More of them and less of me and this made me overly resentful towards these people and also hated myself in return.

So,instead of going through this emotional bout,I have decided to focus on myself,and give others a breathing space and it has truly helped. It’s a win-win scenario.

The more you try to please people, the more they get control of you and you’ll end up hurting yourself

Chanda Kaushik


Comments are closed.