The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. Let your unique awesomeness and positive energy inspire confidence in others. Wherever you go, no matter what the weather is, always bring your own sunshine. If you want light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining.-Unknown
Have you noticed how we tend to hone in on the negative aspects of our lives,instead of the positive? That’s a big reason why we don’t experience more of the nurturing emotions that hapiness provides. We focus on the day-to-day irritations and inconveniences,allowing these to color our whole outlook.
Over a time this becomes a habit-we do it unconsciously. The news media doesn’t help in anyway. They provide an overwhelming diet of negative events,from wars,murders,rapes,and tragedies to family violence, kidnappings and all manner of disasters. Do you realize that 90 percent of all news is negative?Depressing!
Most people see life as one big burden. They obsess on everything that doesn’t work,instead of focusing on what is good and on the possibilities to make it even better. Worry,guilt, and resentment fuel this negative cycle. No wonder we find it so difficult to have more joy,happiness and contentment.
A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances,but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.Hugh Downs.
I know how this feels. When I was growing up,life appeared to be a constant battle. I felt I always had to have my dukes up,ready for the next fight. Optimism was partially part of my thought process though. I looked with scepticism at people who were extremely positive thinkers. When things went their way,I just thought they were lucky. Then slowly,with time,I started to realize that there was another way to live.
When I was faced with challenges,it was healthier to be optimistic and focus on solutions. In my old way of thinking,I would crumble into automatic pessimism, blaming everyone and complaining about my circumstances. The combination of a negative outlook and my limiting beliefs compounded my inability to be happy. It was a personal sabotage.
Gradually,I made a conscious choice to be happier and to have a more positive outlook. This wasn’t easy though. It took a lot of mental discipline and awareness to alter my perspective.
Now,one reason we struggle to find happiness is due to our limiting beliefs. Does a part of you believe things are too good to be true? Do you ever say things like this:
- I just knew it wouldn’t last.
- I always get the short end of the stick.
- I don’t deserve to be happy.
Pause for a moment and think about this question. Do you tend to focus on the negative aspects of life? Do you deserve to be happy?
My advice is to,develop your optimism muscle. Optimists look at the world and see the same things that the pessimists see,yet,their response is quite different.
The optimists admires the beautiful mountain scenery through her kitchen window,while the pessimist see the dirty fingerprints on the glass.
Cultivate an optimistic mind, use your imagination, always consider alternatives, and dare to believe that you can make possible what others think is impossible.Rodolfo Costa
Another habit to refrain from is blaming and complaining. Pessimists do a lot of this. It’s pointless,because when you focus on whatever is bothering you, the negative energy expands. Nobody likes to be around a whiner.
I have found that putting things into perspective helps. When some thing pulls you down,step back and observe it from a much bigger stage. What does this one situation look like compared to your whole life picture? How important is it in the whole scheme of things? Even a critical turning point like a layoff at work,when viewed simply as a single event or a chapter in your life,can be compressed into a less significant role.
You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control the way you think about all the events. You always have a choice. You can choose to face them with a positive mental attitude.Roy T. Bennett