The great bonus about self-esteem is that we have the ability to work on it. The stronger our self-esteem,the more likely we are to attract healthy relationships.
Now,an important building block for healthy self-esteem is integrity.This means matching who you are on the inside with who you are on the outside. Young children are often more integral than adults. They speak the truth,with no agenda about having to please or displease anyone else. They cry when they are hurt and they get angry when they are upset. There is no holding back or thinking about what others might or might not do.
When you are not being true to yourself,or to others,the fraud is directed back at you. Your self-esteem takes the hit.
Courage and independent thinking are essential ingredients for being authentic. But courage and independent thinking are elusive traits,and this is the reason why so few people are authentic.
Like a colleague of mine who says, “I try to impress people when I don’t even respect them. I hate myself when I do that,and I often stay silent when I don’t agree with what’s being said.”
The truth is,she needs to speak up and be honest. By silencing her truth,she has become devoid of integrity.
The more integral we are,the more self-respect we earn. Inorderwords,our self-esteem begins to flourish.
Another crucial aspect of integrity is keeping our word. I believe this is one of the prime reasons our world is in such a state. Do you keep your word? All the time? When you break your word,you break an agreement. There is no such thing as a little agreement. All agreements are important;they are all based on doing what you say you are going to do. The outcome can be war when leaders of countries break agreement. When husbands and wives break agreements,the lawyers get rich.
Honor your commitments with integrity.Les Brown.
Some people give their word without even realizing they have given it because they treat it casually. Think about how you feel when a friend breaks her word to you. If she becomes a repeat offender,what does it do to your relationships? How do you feel about trusting and respecting this person? Not very good,I’ll bet. You feel let down,angry or upset. Let’s turn this other way. What happens to you when you know you have broken your word?You may beat yourself or rationalize why it was acceptable, or apologize to cover it up. But you can only get away with saying sorry for so long. It damages your self-esteem.
How often? Everyday. Let’s take a simple example that challenges most people. Do you show up on time? The answer is yes or no,or it depends. Being late is another is another way we sabotage our self-esteem and our relationships. It indicates lack of respect for someone else’s time.
If you make a habit of being late,ask yourself why? Is it about control or about resistance? What are you making more important than keeping your word?
This is true,being lose with your word will gradually erode your self-respect and self-trust until it becomes a mere speck on your integrity scale.
Be conscious when you are giving your word. Focus! Treat your word as if it’s all you have. Your word is your bond. It’s what sets you apart in the integrity stakes. Giving your word means you are being accountable to yourself and to the people with whom you work,play and share your life.
If you want self-respect,if you want to stand out in the business community,if you want great relationships and you want to be trusted,keep your word.