Why does hapiness seem so elusive? Because many of us are looking for it in the wrong places. Too often,we think the answer lies out there in the pursuit of material possesions. Like, If we buy a bigger home,somehow that will make our pain- filled marriage better or when we get a bonus at work, we ‘ll buy a new car-surely that will make us happier.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
It’s true that when we acquire something new,there’s an initial surge of pleasure. Our cravings and desires are satisfied for a short while. Then the happiness bubble bursts and we are enticed into seeking something more.
Even if we elevate our social status by accumulating more,the happiness usually doesn’t last. We quickly adapt to this new level. What was originally “more” becomes normal. We still want to increase our pleasure.
In reality,most, people compare themselves to others who have what looks like a more successful lifestyle,believing that if they had the same lifestyle they would be happier. I have felt that way before. I mean, it was very overwhelming.
I need you to know that money isn’t often the way we measure our success. Okay,we go ahead to say,” If only we had more money, life would be great. “If I could just win the lottery,all my worries would be over and I’d be happy.” Well, its natural to nurse those feelings.
Anyways,research proves this is not true. Infact,when these sets of people acquire the wealth, they realise that,it creates more strife and misery and not the happiness they had anticipated. Divorce and loss of friends are commonplace after a lottery win you bet. The evidence, I mean, is indisputable. Money does not buy happiness,yet we have the illusion that it does.
Happiness is not something you postpone for the future,it is something you design for the present.
The truth is,receiving an unexpected windfall only makes you more of who you already are. If you are a shopaholic before you won the financial bonanza,you will probably just become an even bigger spender. The reason so many lottery winners are not able to gauge on to their winnings is that they haven’t yet become the type of person who can successfully manage large amounts of money. They blow it on extravagant living flashy cars,bad investments and divorce settlements. No wonder they end up unhappy.
Are you in the habit of putting your hapiness on hold for some future date? Remember the when-then game?
- When I retire,then I’ll settle down and be happy.
- When I meet the right right man,then I ‘ll settle down and be happy.
What if our hapiness is not out there? Our thoughts,feelings,attitudes,and desires are continually changing. Nothing stays constant. Because of this,we will never find enduring happiness out there. Things that used to give us happiness lose their appeal .
People who brought us joy in relationships now disappoint us. The great job we thought would be so fulfillling now leaves us empty. Even the purchases that excited us initially grow old, worn,and are no longer good enough. It all seem so futile.
So where do we find happiness?
We find happiness in the simple pleasures of life; appreciating the beauty of nature enjoying the warmth of the sun on our body or walking on the beach with the water gently lapping at our feet. Maybe it’s winning at sports, the feeling of satisfaction for a job well done or simply holding the hand of someone you love. “It’s the little things that keep you bouncing along above your set point” says Dr.Lykken.
There are many ways to find happiness in everyday things.We only need to be more aware of them.Sometimes we think happiness means giggling and having fun. That’s good,but don’t we also feel happy when we do a great job at work? Just remembering a wonderful holiday or a favorite piece of music can make us smile and feel warm inside. Filling our day with what matters most to us,and living authentically are the recipes for happiness.
Are simple pleasures enough?Can we also sustain this feeling of happiness? Maybe we could if we stopped wrestling with how to change our outside circumstances in order to satisfy our inner cravings-When we slow down enough to find the serenity that comes from just being who we are,or relying on what we have.
I remember a holy moment I had few years ago.I call it a holy moment because it wasn’t just a moment of happiness and joy,it was much more.It was the moment in time where my life felt great. For an instant it felt like the world has stopped and held it’s breath so I will take notice.It was a beautiful spring morning and I have just finished teaching in one of my relationship classes. I knew had done a great job. I went outside and stood in the warm sunshine and felt it,my holy moment.At that point I didn’t know why I felt so overwhelmed with joy but now I know- I had caught a glimpse of my purpose.
Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings; not counting the years.