I have had my own share of disagreements in my relationships and I can tell you it’s part of what makes a relationship go round. However, there are some steps you can take inorder to minimize disagreements and help work out your differences as you make room for open healthy communication..
- Avoid Assumptions
Assumptions have been known to destroy an otherwise good relationship. When you have doubts about your partner’s intentions, give him or her the benefit of the doubt and allow the situation to become clearer. Better still,you can ask him or her in a peaceful,loving manner.
- Avoid referring to the past
Do not be like the archeologist that lives by digging up the past. This is certain to trigger conflict.Every human being has aspect of his or her past that is undesirable and if your partner has shared his or hers with you,this is an act of love and trust. You will do well not to revisit such incidents or keep referring to past mistakes. Let the dead remain dead,always remembering that there has to be a leaving before a cleaving. If you cannot leave the post alone,you may not be able to cleave to your spouse successfully.
- Aim at resolving not winning
You should not see your partner as a separate person. The two of you are supposed to be one.If you understand this,then the competitive stance in argument’s will be avoided. Have you ever struggled to beat yourself or push yourself aside? Besides,if you win a argument with your partner,to whom will you tell the victory story? You do not deserve a handshake,as you will have just shot yourself at the leg. Let your chief aim in any argument with your partner be on how to resolve the matter. Avoid concentrating on winning,for this will only create further strife and resentment between the both of you.
- Make time to talk
Leaving issues unresolved soon leads to a buildup that could be explosive. Make time to talk with your partner. See what has been bugging him or her and nip the matter in the bud. If you are too busy to spare some time for quality communication with your spouse,you will soon have all the time in the world with nobody to share it with,when he or she gets frustrated with your presence.
Stephanie Mintz, a relationship consultant puts it this way, “Lack of communication in a relationship does not necessarily signal a red flag. It does when something needs to change.”
- Be willing to make up
Always be willing to make up,no matter who is at fault or what caused a disagreement.Show this by your attitude towards your partner.
Some people’s face become tightened when there’s a misunderstanding in the house and thereby,putting a strain in their relationship. This is wrong.
Even in troubled situations,be the peacemaker,still call your partner by his or her pet name and talk to him or her with kind words. What you have is a misunderstanding not war. If you treat it like a war,then that is real conflict,and not the unresolved issue.
- D not act or speak when you are angry
You have probably heard people say that,if you speak when you are angry,you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Saying things out of annoyance could spark off conflicts, anod this has the potential of creating a ssituation worse than what triggered your anger in the first place. I am sure you will agree with me when I say this is tantamount to killing a fly with a sledgehammer.
When you are angry,your feelings have probably been hurt in some way,but do you have to go on a vindictive campaign inorder to communicate your hurts. Take time to cool off and say something nice.
- Do not take advantage of your partner’s vulnerability
Your partner can afford to be vulnerable in your presence if he or she ttrust you. However,if you attack him or her with the things you know when you need to make a selfish point or gain an upper hand in an argument or conversation ,you are courting disaster.
Conflict can erupt in this way. If your partner cannot be vulnerable in your presence,then your relationship is not worth the time of the day.
Go ahead and be the man or woman who is loving and considerate towards their partner..