Do you have a bad habit of putting yourself down in front of the people you love?
Do you have a difficult time receiving compliments and praise?
Do you possess talents and abilities your partner isn’t aware of?
Most of us especially women are so good at this. We cover our intelligence,accomplishments, clarity,and abilities inorder to avoid threatening the people in our life and to make them feel better about themselves. We do this in several ways:
1. We talk about ourselves in derogatory terms; putting ourselves down for the slightest mistake,and therefore appearing not to like ourselves very much.
For example: “I can’t believe how stupid I was to forget about your business meeting tonight. Sometimes,I just can’t seem to remember anything.”
“My boss said he was happy with my report,but I don’t think I did a very good job. I got kind of confused about the financial projections and didn’t really know what I was talking about.”
2. As women argue with men when they attempt to pay us a compliment and we act as if we want to talk them out of their positive opinion of us.
For example: “You enjoyed my presentation? Well,actually,I felt kind of rusher since I was the last person to speak,and I wasn’t sure it my facts would be well received. I think everyone was just relieved that the meeting was over-that’s why I got all that applause.”
3. We hide our talents and accomplishments from the most important people in our lives.
So why do we cover up our excellence and competence?
1. We cover up our excellence and competence because we think people will love us more that way.
2. We cover up because we are afraid to look to look arrogant or conceited to others.
Now, let’s quickly run through ways to stop covering up your competence.
1.If you feel inadequate because you feel your partner or the people in your life aren’t appreciating you enough, make a list of all of your talents, abilities,honors, accomplishments,and good qualities,and share the list with them.
Just writing our your good qualities,abilities,and successes can actually remind you of things you had completely forgotten and certainly never talked about with your partner or those in your life. You may be amazed when you found out they are actually delighted to discover more characteristics about you to love.
2. Catch yourself not accepting compliments, putting yourself down,or minimizing your achievelents,and practice CELEBRATING YOUR MAGNIFICENCE.
You will be surprised to notice how often you make this mistake and how much of an unconscious habit it had become. Catch yourself in the act,and shift from covering up your excellence to celebrating yourself. The next time someone compliments you,take a deep breath and simply say, “Thank you!” Throw your false modesty out of the window.
3. Look for a man who wants to let you shine.
There are men out there who,for a variety of reasons, don’t want to be with a woman who appears powerful or confident . It’s difficult to celebrate yourself around someone who isn’t interested in seeing you shine. Make sure your partner supports you in becoming the magnificent woman you are mean to be.